Abstract: This paper presents an exploration of a foundational goal of palliative care nursing which is to help patients die with dignity. The paper presents this practice exploration as a journey to gain understanding of the concept of dignity; the author notes that it does not avoid the difficulties encountered in practice situations because dying with dignity is unique and curiously also invisible and different for everyone. Much of human life is conducted through stories and much of nursing involves telling and listening to stories. Many of our social institutions are comprised almost entirely of opportunities for telling and retelling stories. Nurses are constantly listening to patients telling them what is going on in their lives and because of this the stories related here are written bold and raw. The three stories explore and reveal in-depth details of nursing practice that evolved and changed after reflection. The paper also reveals and explores the untold and often painful stories that challenge nurses' capacity to offer dignified care. To deepen the exploration towards discovering ways to articulate the complexity of dignity, the author reflected on the nature of the practice changes documented in the stories and then used a range of diverse literature and her love of the paintings and philosophy of a New Zealander, Ralph Hotere, to support her ideas that dignity is indeed a complex phenomenon.

Abstract: The stories of the women who live and work in rural settings in New Zealand have begun to reveal unique contributions that they have made to their families and community. This research study evolved from a trend the researcher observed as a district nurse providing community palliative care in rural New Zealand; that the majority of carers of those who are terminally in home-settings are in fact women. This qualitative study aimed to explore through guided conversational interviews the experiences of four women who have cared for their terminally ill partners who have subsequently died. The study investigated if these women's experiences were comparable to that of other women in existing palliative care literature. This research project focused particularly on elucidating the women's experience of intertwining the role of partner and caregiver. Heidegger's hermeneutic philosophy informed the methodology because he focused on what it meant to 'be' rather than 'how we know what we know'. The project focused on the meanings the women made of this dual role in their lives. Women already in the role of partner were now faced with the added responsibility of caregiver to meet the complex needs of their loved one. Usually they had no training to prepare them for this experience. The study reveals ways in which the visiting palliative care nurse becomes very important to them. The women's own voices reveal the high level of respect for their partners and address the harsh realities, revealing poignant and striking concerns in their lives. These stories are shared with the intent of enriching nurses' and other health professionals' understanding of the women's experiences. The author notes that understanding these women's experience is not only a way of honouring these remarkable women but more widely it will inform and possibly transform practice through guideline and policy refinement.