Abstract: This article examines the role of nurses working in intensive care units who may need to work with families as they face the death of a loved one. How the nurse communicates with relatives during these crucial hours prior to the death can have profound implications on their grief recovery. Universal needs for families in this situation have been identified in the literature, and include: hope; knowing that staff care about their loved one; and having honest information about their loved one's condition. A case study is used to illustrate key skills and techniques nurses can employ to help meet these universal needs. In the first stage of grief the bereaved is in shock and may feel a sense of numbness and denial. The bereaved may feel confused and will have difficulty concentrating and remembering instructions, and they may express strong emotions. Studies on families' needs show that honest answers to questions and information about their loved one are extremely important. It is often very difficult for the nurse to give honest information when the prognosis is poor. Good communication skills and techniques are discussed, in which hope is not offered at the expense of truthfulness, and the nurse facilitates the process of saying goodbye and expressing emotions. Practical techniques, such as including the family in basic care such as foot massaging and simple hygiene routines, may also be used to move the family from being bystanders to the impending death, to comforters.

Abstract: This paper explores the creative opportunities children might have to attend to their emotions and feelings following the death of a parent, grandparent or close friend. It presents the position that often children are left out of the process of caring for an adult when they are terminally ill and that has long term psychological implications. It also suggests that this has antecedents for the white New Zealand culture that were noted historically. In this research the author describes a personal journey that has shaped her current work as a hospice practice manager. The writer explores literature in psychological aspects of removing children from the dying room, creative therapies and the importance of sacred memories for the living child. The need to create memory that will embrace the child as a cloak enfolds them in their crisis stimulated the writer to offer a text in the personal narrative form. This text is presented in this form to enable other clinicians to access their own memories as survivors of grief in their own families. It is suggested that by enabling children and family to explore the importance of relating in the palliative phase of a person's life journey, good memories are created for the survivors.

Abstract: This research undertaken by a nurse working with bereaved families, aimed to explore how grandparents, parents and health/bereavement professionals constructed grandparent bereavement when an infant grandchild died unexpectedly. The 26 participants, living in New Zealand and the United Kingdom, included 16 grandparents and 6 parents from 11 families, in addition to three health/bereavement professionals. A constructivist inquiry informed by writings on nursing, storying and postmodernism was used. Through an exploration of the methodological and ethical issues that arose and were addressed during the study, this work adds to knowledge of how constructivist inquiry can be used in nursing and bereavement research. In addition, the context of this research as a partnership with multiple family members contributes to the ongoing debate about whether participation in bereavement research may be harmful or therapeutic. Conversations in this research formed a series of interviews and letters, which led to the development of a joint construction and each individual's story. A grandchild's death was constructed as a challenge which grandparents faced, responded to and then managed the changes that arose from the challenge. The context of their bereavement was seen as underpinned by their relationship as “parents of the adult parents” of the grandchild who died. This meant that grandparents placed their own pain second to their wish to support and “be with” the parents. Outside the family was where many grandparents found friends, colleagues or their community forgot, or chose not to acknowledge, their bereavement. This work shows how some grandparents help to create a space within the family which maintains a continuing relationship with the grandchild who died.